Treading Softly With Power And Love

Treading Softly With Power And Love 

All of us contain within ourselves two strong but distinctly different fundamental forces that are in tension: power and love. In working for social change, we need both. The problem is -- whether we openly acknowledge it or not -- each of us is tilted more towards one or the other, falling into either the power-camp or the love-camp. Our task then, if we want a better and more equitable world, is to learn to work with each of them, rather than denying their hold on us. It is not only an important need to uncover our preference or leaning, but also to learn how to balance them in our lives.

Martin Luther King Jr. many years ago reminded the world: “Power without love is reckless and abusive; love without power is sentimental and anemic.”

According to Adam Kahane, author of ‘Power and Love: A Theory and Practice of Social Change’, those in the power-camp think that compassion and empathy are soft emotions that don’t really matter, or are even unhelpful in the working world, and should be restricted to home, family, and romance. They tend to zoom in on the weak, ineffectual, soppy side of love which certainly does exist.

Love-camp types, on the other hand, see power-camp types as ruthless and manipulative – and while this is often true, it certainly isn’t always so. Kahane interestingly points out that love without power is equally prevalent and equally dangerous for people trying to accomplish something; it’s just less understood. These days power has acquired a bad name, being associated again and again with just one rough end of the power-camp spectrum of selfishness, exploitation and megalomania. We are called to nurture and validate the ethical practice of power – in others, yes, but mainly in ourselves; to take on responsibility, demand accountability and dissociate the word from its negative clout. Actually, why we don’t see this ‘preference’ or its dark side clearly in ourselves is very wisely explained by Wendy Palmer, an aikido expert. “In a no-stress situation,” she says, “we can handle both power and love...” But under stress, we revert to old habits. Power-camp people rush to their comfort zone, becoming more domineering, more reckless and more abusive, almost without thinking; while love-camp people revert to theirs, becoming more sentimental, more illogical and hand-wringingly inactive. And it is usually under stress that most important decisions are made, most irreversible damage done. We must also understand that making a choice between the two won’t work. Power and love constitute an ongoing dilemma that must be reconciled repeatedly, continuously and creatively. When asked how one can become accomplished at this balance, Kahane responded: “You have to deliberately practice both: power and love, power and love, like walking with your left foot and then right foot, over and over and over ...”

Om Namah Shivay.