Why do we develop an attachment for someone?

Q: Why do we develop an attachment for someone?

Guruji : Attachment happens when we do not do seva; when we lose our commitment to service. When we do seva then attachments simply disappear.

Keep the desire and commitment to do seva. If you are a mother and you have children, just understand that as parents, you are simply door ways for them. The children have come into this world through you. They have brought their own karma which they have to go through. As parents, we should serve them and care for them. We should do what is required for them.
But instead, what do we do? We keep worrying and thinking, ‘Oh, what about me? What about my children?’ In Guwahati, a man came to me with his wife, his daughter and her husband. The daughter went and got married, and so the father came and told me, 'I am going to kill this man (who his daughter married)'. I asked him, 'Why?'

'It is because she has married a person whom I don’t like. Now you tell her to leave him'. I told him, 'Sit down'. I made him sit down and explained to him. I told his daughter, 'Give him some time to accept. If he does not accept, then you go ahead and live your life'.

What terrible anger he had! And it really seemed like he would do something terrible. He was ready to go to jail, but he was not ready to accept his son-in-law. He asked me, 'If I bring beef and kept it in front of you, would you accept it, and eat it? This son-in-law is the same for me'.

I told him, 'Why are you giving wrong examples to prove your point?' After sitting for a while and explaining things to him, he became calm and smiled.

Such situations happen all the time. And there is only one way to resolve such conflicts and it is through wisdom. If you want to remove the violent tendencies from someone, then there is no other way apart from meditation and knowledge. We often keep giving all types of advice even when we have not been asked for it. Now give knowledgeable advice and counsel them to bring a change in their mindset. There is a lot that we can do.

Around 4-6 months back, I urged all our volunteers to conduct the Happiness survey everywhere. I encouraged them to go door to door and find out whether people are happy. The interviewer had an amazing experience, and those being interviewed also felt very good. When you do the survey, people feel that they are being cared for, and they feel so good about it.
Some people said, ‘For the first time, somebody came and asked me, are you happy? What is the reason for my unhappiness?’ One lady in her sixties said, ‘In so many years, not a single person asked me, why am I unhappy? Now I feel that there are more caring people in the world.’

I told the volunteers to find out what were the main reasons why people were unhappy. This forced people to think, why they were unhappy. Many times people are unhappy but they don’t even realize why they are unhappy. They get lost in a wave of unhappiness. It is necessary to transform these people and bring strength to them.

Om Namah Shivay