Inter-Personal Relations

Inter-Personal Relations

If one were to list the reasons for quarrels among couples, it is not money-mindedness that would top the list! The words! Words that dissolve into thin air the moment they are uttered are the main reason for causing bitterness in a relationship between a husband and wife. Just a few words have dragged some couples to courts! Mere words have made many couples to live like strangers within the same household.

Here is a brief tale!

A husband never bothered about the likes and dislikes of his wife. The wife’s reciprocal attitude perfectly suited her husband. One night, the husband had not returned home till midnight. The wife, not worried about him, had long since retired to bed. In the middle of the night, there was a knock on the door. The wife opened the door. It was her husband. He brought a monkey along with him. As soon as she saw the monkey, the wife was furious. However, she swallowed her anger and went to bed. He placed the monkey on the bed between him and his wife.

Now she could contain her anger no more!

‘How can you let a monkey sleep in my side? How can I bear the nuisance and nasty smell?’

‘Of course, haven’t I got used to your foul smell ever since I married you? So, soon this monkey too would get used to it!’ said the husband. These pricking words hurt the wife no end. On the same night, their marital life came to an end!

Here we have to recall the words of Dalai Lama.

‘If the reason for your being born on the earth should be fulfilled, please help others. In case you are not able to help others, at least try not to hurt anyone!’

But, what happens in some houses? Husband and wife tear each other apart with their words. It seems strange even to think of it! As the levels of knowledge, skills and abilities of human beings rise higher, the rates of divorce also increase!

What is the reason for this? The answer for this question lies in the meaning of the word ‘knowledge.’

Well then, what is knowledge? Knowledge does not reside in books. It is visible in the behavior of people.

In business management schools emphasis is laid on a subject – Interpersonal skills! This subject teaches us how to develop good and healthy relationships with co-workers, superiors, subordinates and clients.

Even if a person has made a mistake, do not tell him, ‘What you have done is wrong.’ On the contrary, help him see what is right rather than make him feel wrong. Even if you have to criticize someone apply the sandwich technique…..place your criticism between praises. There are many communication skills like disarming, preemptive strikes, multiple closes, emptying technique….for example we can instantly build a rapport with the other by applying warm up technique by asking questions which impress the other.

These are the primary lessons in interpersonal skills. These are suitable not only for the working environment, but also in intimate relationships.

Today, in many houses, the relationship between a husband and wife is like a stone. But the strange fact is, even stone carvings in places like Khajuraho are full of life and romantic splendor! This was the vision of our rishis….Sages of India.

Om Namah Shivay