DEVI

DEVI

“Salutations to the mother,

Who rides the golden tiger,

Salutations to thee,

Who rules the ruler of the world”

October: it is a time for many of us to remember Durga- our Mother. And we do so, in our own ways, traditions, and personal faith. But, while we hold festivities ,chant prayers, undertake fasts, even climb Mountains to catch glimpse ‘darsana’

Of ‘Her’ in sacred sanctorums; the one presence we do not seem to register is that of our girls-the little Durgas in the midst of us all. Do we truly recognize what Durga stands for? Do we acknowledge the equality of women?

This equality was designed for all times. And, there are times when it shows up a little.Like the respect we exhibit for women during the ‘Durga days’. But ,with the immersion of Durga’s idols in the sea,at the end of the festival-the esteem,and hopes of women in our societies also sink back in the harsh norms of a man’s world ,once again.

Why?

Why do we give such a short ovation to these living deities,who are actually our equals? Clay idols can rest respectfully in the sea,but these,the mothers of our children,And these,our daughters,the mothers to be,of our races,THEY ARE NOT CLAY.

If we shift our focus from the mere idols of Durga to the ‘ideal-that is Durga, we realise that the understanding of God as mother,is most precious.That is how all the caring and tenderness comes into being.But it is important to remember that Durga Can stand for assertion of feminine force.

The creatrix mother who normally holds a lotus flower in her hands,can wield a sword too.

The beautiful eyes that liken her to a gazelle, can fierily burn to ashes or, freeze to death with one icy stare-and knowing this,all followers of the Divine mother take heed to keep her pleased in her tender and beauteous attribute.There is not a keen point invoking her wrath to restore a disturbed equilibrium,created by chauvinistic trend. And this is a fact the misguided male instinct has discovered from time immemorial. Perhaps,the world equilibrium,is most accurate about what Durga really stands for.

And , being devoted to Durga my self , I am not a champion of women’s equality that would mean bringing a sword out in their hands, why let it come to that?  To me, equality is notwhat a woman or man may do, but the equal respect for what she or he does. Swapping jobs is not the criterion here – and so, it may not always provide the solution . But mutual respect for each other, genuine regard for each other- this, to my mind, is the gist of the equality question.

We are not  suffering from a mere gender bias. We suffer from a deep rooted disturbed equilibrium, of non respect for the other.

Consider, for example, the most ironical fact that a majority of dowry events are perpetrated against women by women them selves.

Consider the fact that in many countries, expectant mothers wish only for a male child.

Consider this, that when a mother’s daughter reaches her teens, she summons the daughter for that ‘crucial talk’ on self protection against eve teasers, and warns her that now that she is blossoming , generally her bad days in life have begun.

Consider this case for unequal education, the irony that hardly any mother educates her son to be a gentleman ,who treats girls with respect; and not to become like the hooligan she detested from her own times-the hooligan who bullied innocent girls. It seems, even durgas have been made to forget their Durga nature and status?

The mutual respect that we have forgotten, we need to remember. The joy of having women as our mothers, sisters, and of course partners in life-this joy is invaluable, whether we are talking of the kitchen or office, sport arena or seat of authority, is only consequent. If our basic equilibrium is right, we could share all the chores with the required flexibility; and as a team, even chores become a joy. Think about it.

I end my column with personal acknowledgement of the beautiful little durgas that mother Durga has given us all; of course there would be no world without them ! Jai Mata Di!

(written by Shail Gulhati about twenty years ago)