Be a Giver of Strength

Be a Giver of Strength

Everyone likes someone who is strong. You want people to like you and love you, but how will people like or love you when you are so weak and wiggly inside? They have compassion, and they tolerate you for some time, and then they want to get out and have free time for themselves. They feel suffocated. This happens in all relationships and that is why people runaway from relationships. You suffocate them with your likes and dislikes, with your emotions; you put your emotions on their head and ask them to carry it when they already have enough of their own to carry. If you do this they will drop everything and runaway.

In any relationship, be a giver of strength. This you can do only when you are strong. When you are emotionally dependent on somebody and you keep asking them if they really love you, even if they had any love, it will just drain away.
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We remain entangled in cravings and aversions for others. But when we have the essence of the Yajna - meaning when there is total unity and harmony within us, when everything within us comes together in a perfect balance; then the entire world feels like our own, and we feel everyone belongs to us.
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Q: I want to surrender my ego, but I fear that in doing so, I will lose my self-respect. Please guide.

Guruji: If you find that there is ego, then let it be. Even ego belongs to the divine. Don’t try to surrender, don’t struggle. If you say that I have surrendered my ego, then it is bigger ego. It’s like saying, "I am the most humble person in this entire world!" That doesn’t show humility. Just be Natural.
The more you grow in knowledge, you see that ego goes away. You know, around the seed there is a membrane. When you soak it in water, the seed bulges, sprouts and automatically the membrane breaks away. But if you try to peel the skin, the seed itself will break. Same way, when you soak yourself in knowledge, in devotion, in love, and in wisdom, you automatically find the ego going away.
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Q: When should a person give up on someone? When we are hurt and disappointed or should we keep patience because we love them.

Guruji: When you cannot hold any longer, that’s when you say I give up. It depends on your capacity of endurance to hold on. Other than that there is no criteria.

Om Namah Shivay