Are you Respectful ?-6
Do you Respect your SELF?
In most exchanges of disrespect the underlying issue is not actually ‘the other’. When we hear our self think or say, “I’ve lost all respect for them”, it’s really code for ‘my self-respect has gone’. Only when our self-respect is solid and stable can we connect with others and the world and NOT be dependent on others attitude and behaviors, others respectfulness, for our sense of self. Only then are we able to NOT take anything personally. Only then are we able to recognize and understand that the violence or disobedience of ‘the other’ is just a sign that they have also lost their self-respect. And only then can we maintain our vision of their inherent worth and goodness as a human being, prior to any violations of the relationship!
But will have a decision to make for our self. Are people born innately good and learn to be… naughty? Or are some born with badness built in? Your answer will affect your capacity to give respect to all others.
Throughout history respect has become embodied in many symbolic forms. In some cultures we are taught to symbolize our respect with a gift, given as soon as we meet. In other cultures it’s customary to bow, or to salute if you’re in the military, or if you are a child then to listen attentively to the all-knowing font of wisdom that is the parent! We start a letter with ‘dear’, a mark of respect. And in some countries titles are bestowed upon those perceived to be worthy of an even greater respect than the rest.
But they are all empty gestures if our own self-respect is not intact. As soon as we lose respect for our self, which really means as soon as we lose our awareness that we are a source of love and kindness in this world, then our neediness to be recognized and respected by others will kick in. That guarantees moments of animosity and resentment when we don’t receive that which we want and often demand from others. Our disrespect may then grow over time into some form of violence. All forms if violence in the world today, when closely examined, will have this absence of self-respect and the neediness that comes with it, at their root.
That may be why we are all responsible for one thing and one thing only. To free our self from needing, wanting, desiring and craving the respect of others. Only then perhaps, will we feel ‘consistently’ OK within our self, and therefore strong enough create the other in a bright light within our consciousness, regardless of how darkly they may have behaved.
The healing effect of restoring our self-respect could change the world!
Question: Who is the person in your life you currently find the hardest to respect?
Reflection: What is the exact nature of the judgment/criticism that you are ‘creating’ around them or towards them that is in the way of your being able to accept and respect them?
Action: Separate the person from their behavior and practice seeing the innate goodness within them. When you meet them consciously demonstrate your respect for them. Watch the effect it has on you and on the relationship.
Om Namah Shivay
No comments:
Post a Comment