The Secret of Healthy Relationships-1
Two people were deeply in love with each other. They believed they were soul mates. After a courtship of four years, they decided to get married.
On their wedding, the girl’s mother gave her a passbook and said, “Think of this as your marriage account. Every time something good happens in your life deposit a small amount and make a note in the passbook. Try to put in a greater sum if the event is significant. Today is your wedding and I’ve deposited $500 in it.”
The couple had a great start to their married life. As years rolled by, they went through their share of ups and downs, of agreements and arguments, of feeling good and bad. In due course, they had two children, bought a home, built savings and so on. As they got increasingly busy with work and other responsibilities, they spent less and less time with each other. The bond began to weaken and eventually a sense of belonging disappeared. So much so, they started to feel like two strangers under the same roof.
Indifference turned into disliking and most conversations turned into arguments. Finally, they decided to throw in the towel. They had tried hard to make their marriage work, but in vain. All they could recall were moments of stress and grief. The girl spoke to her mother and said she had made a blunder by marrying this man and that they had decided to divorce.
“Sure,” the mother said. “It’s your life. If you can’t live, you can’t live. But, make sure you go to the bank and close out the marriage account before you sign the divorce papers. Don’t leave behind a record of such a poor marriage.”
A few days later the girl was at the bank, standing in a line, waiting to be served. Fidgety and impromptu, she opened the passbook. She glanced through it in disbelief at the number of deposits they had made. There were quite a few. There were line items for her first pregnancy, their first home, first car, promotion at work, her second pregnancy, their anniversaries, birthdays, family vacations, festivals, celebrations.
She went back home without closing the account and handed the passbook to her husband.
“I couldn’t muster the courage to close this account. Please, can you do it instead?”
“I couldn’t muster the courage to close this account. Please, can you do it instead?”
The husband took the passbook and, much like her, opened it to see the balance and saw all the entries they had made over the years. It hadn’t been that bad a run, he thought. They realized that their marriage wasn’t just about quarrels and arguments. There were plenty of good moments too.
Om Namah Shivay
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