Sense of Ownership Binds You

Sense of Ownership Binds You

Possessiveness is delusion. It does not mean having a collection of things; it is the feeling of being the owner of those things. The ‘number of things’ therefore does not determine an individual’s possessiveness; it is the attitude he harbours towards those things, the way he relates to them that determines his possessiveness.

Our sense of ownership is not restricted to things alone. We display feelings of ownership even towards people. A husband tries to own his wife; a father his son and a teacher, his student. Possessiveness is just another dimension of violence because no one can own another without exercising violence by taking away his independence.

Perhaps because man has no authority over himself, he tries to make up for that ‘lack of command’, by ruling others. We wish to become independent by making others dependent on us. But we do not realise that dependence is on both sides; both parties get tied.

We become slaves to the ones we try to possess; we get bound to them because our sense of ownership is dependent on them. If the ones we claim to own leave us, with them goes our ownership too. If our ownership is dependent on others, then how can we be called their owners?

We collect things so that they can serve us but instead, we end up serving them. Does the treasure chest look after us or do we look after it? Objects are not to be blamed. We become their slaves of our own accord. It is our perception, our thoughts and beliefs that bring about this slavery. How can things make anyone their slave? They are not even aware that humans believe they own them. If you are filled with desire for things, you experience bondage. With no desire, you are free.

One who has no longing to make anyone a slave and does not wish to own anything or anyone -- he alone is a real owner in this world. He alone whose ownership is not dependent on others is truly possessive and is truly happy, peaceful, settled and secure. This is the essence of ‘aparigraha’ or nonpossessiveness.

We accumulate things and relationships to fill the emptiness we feel inside. Since the inner deficiency could not be filled by the presence of external objects, then can giving them up fill the space? The problem is that first you wish to fill the inner chasm by collecting external things and having attained them, when you realise that they cannot fill the inner void, you relinquish them. However, what cannot be filled with the addition of things will not be filled by subtracting them either.

Nonpossessiveness does not mean giving up outer things. It means attaining inner completeness by realising the Self, abiding in the Self. Then the emptiness within is filled and the frenzy to collect outer objects ceases. Having experienced inner absoluteness, the desire to either hoard things or to give them up vanishes. Outer associations drop, on their own.

When the Self is realised, inner wealth is attained. Then alone, does one understand how vain the effort of collecting or renouncing outer things is. Once inner completeness is attained, the hold over external things is automatically given up. Realising that it is futile to hold on to anything, one becomes nonpossessive in the midst of all.

The meaning of nonpossessiveness is not to have the sense of ownership. It means transformation in one’s relationship to others. When the sense of ownership wanes, it results in nonpossessiveness.

Om Namah Shivay