Stop, Pause, Think!

Stop, Pause, Think!

Patience and understanding help us to lead a nonviolent, peaceful life.

All too often, people are quick to pass judgement on others or on situations without knowing the full background. We listen to how people interact with each other and we find numerous occasions in which someone is quick to criticise someone else for their actions. Everyone feels his perspective on a situation is right and everyone else is wrong.

There is a true account of an explorer from Australia, David Edgeworth, who accompanied Ernest Shackleton on an expedition to the South Pole from 1907-1909. The expedition to the South Pole was extremely difficult and dangerous. One day, Edgeworth’s assistant was working inside his tent. Suddenly, he heard a muffled voice from outside. He listened hard trying to make out what the voice was saying. Finally, he knew it was the voice of Edgeworth, who asked, “Are you very busy?”

The assistant who was working on something, said, “Yes, I am busy.”

The voice of Edgeworth was again heard from outside, saying, “Are you very busy?”

The assistant was angry and impatient with the boss for disturbing him, but he called back in an annoyed tone, “What is it you want?” Edgeworth was silent for a moment, and then he called back with an apology, “Well, I have slipped down a crack in the ice and I do not think I can hang on much longer.”

Imagine how embarrassed and maybe even guilt-ridden the assistant would have felt that he was so wrapped up in himself that his boss was in danger of falling into a large ice crevice and being killed if he had not been there to help him out. His boss was polite and respectful even in the face of risk to his own life, while the assistant was impatient and angered by the inconvenience caused to him by a call for help.

Many times we think we understand the circumstances of others. We are annoyed when others do things we do not agree with or do not want them to do. We are annoyed when we hear people’s reasons for doing what they do, and think everything is merely an excuse. However, how many of us are willing to withhold judgement and put ourselves in the shoes of another? How many times have we passed judgement on others only to find that they had good reason for doing what they were doing or what they were saying?

We think we alone are right. The assistant thought he was right to try to ignore his boss and keep doing his work. However, if he had a little patience, he would have waited to find out what his boss needed before getting angry. Just imagine how the assistant would have felt if his boss had slipped to his death all because he was too impatient and uncaring to respond.

Think of how many times in the past someone needed your help and you put him off or were rude to him. Think of how, on many occasions, you may have condemned others for something they did only to find out how sad and unfortunate their situation was that caused them to do a certain thing.

On the spiritual path, two qualities to cultivate are patience and understanding, to lead a nonviolent life. Those who are nonviolent do not rush to criticise or accuse someone. Nonviolent people tend to be understanding, too. Putting themselves in the shoes of others, they try to understand what makes others tick. With empathy, they try to think of how the world looks through other people’s eyes. If each could treat others with patience, love, and understanding, this world would be a more peaceful, loving place.

The next time someone asks us for help, even though it may be an interruption for us, we can stop, pause, and think before reacting. We can calmly consider that they have a real need for us and we can lovingly help them. In the end, we will find that we did the right thing. With patience and understanding, we never have to go to sleep at night worrying if we did the right thing. We will know that when we have patience and understanding, we are acting in a noble way.

Om Namah Shivay