All Those Questions That Won't Go Away

All Those Questions That Won't Go Away

A Chinese proverb tells us: ``He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.'' We usually ask other people questions, but there are more significantly those questions we must ask ourselves in order to live fuller lives.

I love questions, especially questions that can be answered in more ways than one. We don't always give questions the time and attention they deserve, often seeing them as being simply a necessary , sometimes annoying rung up to that `more important' thing ­ an answer.

Staying with the question for a while is an almost completely unknown skill. Turning it around in our minds can stop us from jumping to that quick answer ­ something we've been trained to obediently do since we were very young ­ which often gives us just a part-answer at the surface. There are other answers some place below that could be more precious. Sadly we settle for the most obvious, which may not be what can guide us or open us up.

Another reason is that we've also been trained to think that there is only `one right answer' to everything. For some things this might be true. For many it just isn't so. David Whyte writes about questions that “have no right to go away“. These are questions that have to do with the person we are about to become. They almost always have something to do with how we might be more courageous, more present, more generous, more fulfilled, more dedicated. They also have something to do with timing; when we feel prompted to step over the threshold into something bigger or better.

It is often poets who gift us these questions. Among my favourites is Mary Oliver's “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?“ Elsewhere she knocks you out with “Listen ­ are you breathing just a little, and calling that a life?“ Or a line from Pablo Neruda stops us short: “Was it where they lost me that I was able to find myself ?“ Or the seemingly simpler question from David Mason: “What is the meaning of our prayers?“ Shel Silverstein, author of children's books that I believe all adults should read, has a playful piece, `Zebra Questions'. While light hearted at one level, it is deep and thought-provoking at another. It goes: I asked the zebra, Are you black with white stripes? Or white with black stripes? And the zebra asked me, Are you good with bad habits? Or are you bad with good habits? Are you noisy with quiet times? Or are you quiet with noisy times? Are you happy with some sad days? Or are you sad with some happy days?... Just giving ourselves time to dwell on these promptings, and only then to unfold our responses to these, can open the door to the yearnings we carry within ourselves ­ perhaps locked away , but disturbingly surfacing now and then. Sometimes these questions suddenly leap out at us from the page of a book, sometimes they gently but persistently tap us on the shoulder to awaken us, and sometimes they thump us hard on the head ­ each time wanting to open us to seeing things in a new way .

You could keep a journal for these `questions that won't go away'; and when you feel a bit brave, or a bit loving towards yourself, attempting to write around just one of them at a time. You will be surprised and appreciative of the kind of person you want to be.

m Namah Shivay