Three Ways to Keep Your Calm-2

Three Ways to Keep Your Calm-2

Remind yourself that you are forgiving the other person because their conduct, attitude or mistakes are not bigger than your existence. That you consciously choose to emerge larger than their neglect. Say: “I forgive you because I want to free myself. This is the only way I can close my account otherwise the books will remain open and our pending transactions will be carried forward into the next life. I do not wish to repay your loans. I set you free from making any more payments. I forgive you.”

3. I am the owner

This method is about incorporating the first two approaches in our way of life. It is always remembering that we are responsible for the choices we make. We are the owners of our life, our minds, our emotions. A beautiful Buddhist sutra states: “When you are annoyed with a person, concentrate on the ownership of deeds like this: ‘This good person is the owner of his deeds, his deeds are the womb from which he is born, his deeds are his kin for whom he is responsible, his deeds are his refuge, he is heir to his deeds, be they good or bad.’ ”

It becomes easier to practice the first two methods when we see the other person in the light above, independent of us. You are a customer and so is he. They are the owners and inheritors of their deeds, we ours.

Mulla Nasrudin was having frequent episodes of anxiety attacks and became a patient of hypertension as a result.

“The reports are fine,” the doctor said, “you should probably see a psychiatrist.”

“Psychiatrist?”

“Yes. Maybe you have a business or a family problem that’s causing these panic attacks. Just a few weeks ago, I had a similar case. The patient was worried about a $20,000 loan and had a nervous breakdown.”

“How did you cure him?” Mulla asked.

“I told him to declare bankruptcy and that life was too short to be wasted over a loan,” the doctor said. “He’s enjoying perfect health now and has completely stopped worrying.”

“I know,” Mulla said. “He has not only stopped worrying, he has also stopped picking up his phone. I’m the man whom he owes the 20,000.”

Life is a seesaw, you know. Sometimes you are at the receiving end and other times giving. You go through your ups and downs, highs and lows, but, either way, to come off the swing, without hurting yourself or the other person, you have to bring it in the balanced position.

We must repay our loans. Everyone owes someone. If you want to close the books, relieve them from their debts and set them free. Nature will write off your borrowings too in return.

Om Namah Shivay