I am Lonely-2

I am Lonely-2

Once you gain a certain ease with who you are, the need for external affirmations, the desire to acquire more, the urge to be surrounded by people diminishes drastically. And, when your desires subside, the world looks beautiful and you feel full. Because, in that blessed moment, you realize that you already are a complete person, a beautiful person, that there’s no need for anyone else to endorse or approve it.

A disciple asked his master if there’s any way of measuring one’s spiritual progress.
“Yes,” said the master. “Just see how many times you get disturbed in a day.”

Just like spiritually evolved people don’t get perturbed easily, emotionally evolved people don’t experience loneliness as much. A simple test to ascertain how lonely you are is to see how active you are on the social media. Just analyze a stretch of 24 hours and see how many times you’ve communicated on Facebook, WhatsApp etc to say nothing significant. I’m not suggesting that social media is bad or wrong; I’m simply showing you a way to help you see where you stand. The more active you are on these networks, the more lonely you are. Unless, it’s a part of your job description, of course.

There is an important distinction I must make here and that is the difference between the fear of loneliness and the feeling of loneliness. You can feel lonely even out of a sense of boredom (although there’s more to it) but the fear of loneliness arises directly from a sense of insecurity and inadequacy. In the former you simply feel disconnected or even directionless. You may have a large group of friends and family, yet you may still feel lonely. But, when you have the fear of loneliness, it often means you don’t want to live by yourself, that you long for company.

If you are not afraid to be on your own, you can have no fear of loneliness. And what if you have this fear but you want to rise above it? For another time.

After a long and arduous journey, a rich man reached a revered healer in a tiny village set in the snowy mountains.

“Why don’t you live in one of the cities?” The visitor asked.
“Because I like it here,” the healer said.
“But, it’s so far!”
“Far from where?”

This is one of my favorite anecdotes for it so beautifully illustrates that the more you are in touch with yourself, the less you feel the need to be in touch with others. The one who basks in the bliss of solitude dives in the inner ocean of tranquility. Such a person is never far from herself. When you are close to yourself, you don’t feel lonely. And when loneliness walks out of your life, sadness does too. Birds of a feather flock together.

Om Namah Shivay