36 Lessons I've Learned About Habits-2

36 Lessons I've Learned About Habits-2

Learn to do easier types of habits first. If you try to do hard types of habits (like ones with variable or multiple triggers, or ones that you dislike or find very difficult), and you're not skilled at creating habits, you're much less likely to succeed. I highly recommend doing easy habits first, ones that only require a couple minutes a day, are tied to a single daily trigger, and that you enjoy and find easy. What's the point of trying to form an easy habit? Well, you might find it harder than you think, but also, you're building your habit skills, and most importantly, you're building trust in yourself.

Build trust in yourself. What I lacked before I got better at changing habits was trust that I would stick to a habit. Why? Because I'd failed so often before, allowing myself to break promises to myself because it was easier than sticking to the promises. It's like if another person constantly lies to you - you don't trust that person anymore. The same is true of your promises to yourself. And the solution is the same - to build trust slowly, with small promises and small victories. This takes time. But it's arguably the most important thing you can do.

Incremental changes add up to huge changes. This might seem to make sense on the surface, but I don't think most people feel its truth in their gut. We all want all the changes we want, right now. We can't possibly make ourselves give up a few of those changes for awhile, to focus on one, because then we wouldn't get what we want, right now. I've seen this so many times - people want to make 10 changes at once, and can't choose just one to focus on. But doing lots of changes at once, or big changes, means you are less likely to succeed. But if you stick with small changes, you'll see some powerful long-term change. Try making small changes to your diet and activity levels - after a year, you'll be way fitter than before. Try learning something a little at a time - if you can make it a habit and stick with it, you'll be way better at it in six months. This is what I've seen in my life, and it's been dramatic in scope.

It doesn't matter which change you focus on first. We're not in it for the short game, we're in it for the long game. It can be hard to figure out which change to make right now, because that means giving up lots of other important changes. And I've seen people agonize over which change to make first, because they think the order matters. Sure, maybe it would be optimal to learn to meditate first, before making eating changes, but you know what's not optimal? Making no changes. Over the long term, if you pick one small change at a time, you'll have all the important habits formed. So honestly, just pick the one you feel like doing the most - the one that you'll enjoy most.

Energy and sleep levels matter a lot. I wrote about this recently, but if you are sleep-deprived, you'll be tired and have little energy to focus on habit changes. That's fine when your enthusiasm for your new habit is high, but the moment things get even a little difficult, you'll skip the habit because you don't have the willpower to push yourself through a little discomfort. Sleep matters.

Dealing with disruptions in routine is a learned skill. One of the most common causes of habit failure is disruption in routine - taking a trip, having a big work project that requires you to work late, having visitors, having a cold. These kinds of things change your normal routines, which do a couple things to the habit you're forming: 1) the trigger might not happen (if you're sick you might not get up and shower, for example, if showering is your trigger), and 2) you might get so busy/tired that you don't have time/energy to do the habit. So how do you deal with this obstacle? Anticipate it. Know that it will happen (yes, everyone's routine gets disrupted). Plan to either take a break while you're traveling (for example), or have a new trigger while your old one is temporarily disrupted. This kind of anticipation and planning is a skill that you can learn, and this skill makes you better at creating new habits.

Think ahead to avoid foreseeable obstacles. Other than disruptions to your routine, there are other things you can anticipate. For example, if you're changing your eating habit (say, no sugar) and you're going to a restaurant with friends or a birthday party, what will you eat? What will your strategy be if there's sugar (which there will be)? If you forget about it and wait until it happens, you'll be unprepared and less likely to stick to your habit. How and where will you work out when you travel? Anticipate and prepare.

Om Namah Shivay