36 Lessons I've Learned About Habits

36 Lessons I've Learned About Habits

I've learned these lessons the hard way.
I struggled to quit smoking in the early 2000s, failing seven times before finally succeeding in late 2005. I struggled with exercise habits, with changing my horrible eating habits, with waking earlier and being more productive and getting out of debt and simplifying my life.

I failed a lot, and still do. It was through those failures that these hard-fought lessons emerged, and so I don't resent any of the failures. I recommend this attitude.

I've taught habits to thousands of people, in addition to changing dozens of my own. Teaching what I've learned to others taught me even more.

And still I'm learning. That's the fun part.

Changing habits is one of the most fundamental skills you can learn, because it allows you to reshape your life. To reshape who you are. That's truly transformational.

I share these lessons not as Commandments from On High, but as things you might try, in your journey of change and learning. Try them one or two at a time, so you're not overwhelmed. Come back to this list after you've done that.

I hope they help.

When you make a small change, your 'normal' adjusts. Imagine that you're used to a whole set of conditions - if you deviate from those conditions very much, you will be uncomfortable. Going to live in a foreign country where you don't speak the language, don't know anyone, aren't used to the food, don't understand the customs, don't have the same kind of home you're used to . this can be very difficult. But if you make one tiny change, it's not very uncomfortable. And after a month or two, you adapt to this tiny change, and it becomes part of the conditions that you're used to. Your new normal. Changing your life in small steps like this, one small change at a time, is much easier and much more likely to succeed than making multiple huge changes all at once. Gradually change your normal.

Small changes are easier to start. A big change not only requires your mental commitment, but more time and effort. If you already have your time tied up in other things, you'll find it difficult to find the time to start your new habit. You might do it once or twice (go to the gym for an hour) but that habit is dead before it starts unless you put in an extraordinary effort. A small change - just a few pushups in the morning, for example - is much easier to get started. You could start it right now, in the middle of reading this article. Making it easy to start a habit means you're more likely to actually do it.

Small changes are easier to sustain. If you start a big change (go to the gym for 30 minutes every day!), you might actually be able to start it with all the enthusiasm you have in the beginning. But that enthusiasm wanes, depending on energy and sleep levels, what else is going on in your life, disruptions in routine, etc. And eventually you'll probably fail. But if you make the habit very small when you start, you are much much more likely to sustain it for longer. It's easier to keep a small thing going than a big one. And keeping it going is what matters.

Habits are tied to triggers. When the trigger happens, the habit follows, if it's been ingrained strongly as a habit. For example, for some people, when they arrive at work, they immediately turn on their computer. And then maybe immediately do another habit after that. The habit-trigger bond is strengthened from lots of repetitions.

Habits with variable or multiple triggers are harder. If you want to meditate every morning after waking and drinking your customary glass of water (for example), it's much easier to create a habit like this with one daily trigger . as opposed to a habit that requires either 1) variable triggers, like not reacting angrily when someone criticizes you (you don't know when that trigger will happen), or

2) several different kinds of triggers, such as smoking which might be triggered by stress or other people smoking or drinking alcohol or coffee, etc.

Om Namah Shivay